Posted: Monday, January 11th, 2016 by Gaelyn Whitley Keith

Hearing you child say, “I hate myself”, “I am so stupid”, or “No body likes me” can be heart breaking and alarming.

What your children says out loud gives you a window into what they are thinking – their ‘”self-talk”’.  You know they are engaging in negative ‘”self-talk”’ when you hear things like:  “I’m never going to get this!” or “I hate school!”  Sometimes it’s not what they way out load, but you may notice self-defeating, subtle facial expressions or mumbles under their breath.  There are so many ways to change the negative ‘”self-talk”’ in your house and help your children replace their negative thinking with positive ‘”self-talk”’. 

Here are some in home strategies to decrease negative ‘”self-talk”’:

* Listen to free ‘”self-talk”’ downloads.  As you take them to school and as they go to sleep let them hear the ‘”self-talk”’ that will make them into the person God created them to be.  Truth Wins Free "'Self-Talk"' Download

* Love yourself!  Treat yourself like a best friend.  How you talk about yourself becomes a model that you children will follow.

* Praise. Seek out opportunities to praise your son or daughter for achievements or good behavior.  Find ways to praise your children when talking to others – especially if your child is in earshot, but not a part of your conversation. 

* Get Sassy! Encourage your child to be THE BOSS of their negative voice and TALK BACK to it!  When your negative voice tells you “You’re not going to do well on this test” don’t let it take your confidence away!! Tell that voice, “I’m a good learner.  I’m going to try my best.  If I try my best, I’ll do okay.”

But most of all here is a list of things children love to hear their parents say:

I think you’re fantastic!

You did a great Job!

You make me smile.

I appreciate the young man (woman) you are becoming.

Spending time with you reminds me of how special you are.         

Would you like to go to the store with me? I like it when you come along.

I like how your mind works.

Thanks for being such a hard worker.

I was just telling Dad/Mom how proud I am of you.

I’m grateful God gave you to me.

You did that so well.

Great job on your homework!

That was a really kind thing to do.

You’re so smart!

You are the kind of friend I wanted when I was your age.

Do you know how rare people like you are?

You’re really polite – I like that in a young man/young woman.

You do quality work!

I’m grateful for you.

You are a blessing to me and Mom/Dad.

There is no one quite like you.

How did you come up with that?

I know you can figure it out!

You worked until the job was done – impressive!

When you stood up for what was right, God said, “Well done!”

God wanted to bless me so He gave me you.

What a great job you did!

Wow! You’re fast!

You did that? You’re amazing!

Wow! You did a great job cleaning your room!

You made this all by yourself? It tastes fantastic!

What a great idea!

I’m really proud of you.

You have a big heart!

You’re so generous.

You inspire people when you do things like that!

How did I get the Best Kid in the World?

I just know you’re going to be successful.

You can achieve anything you desire.

God created you for a special purpose.

I don’t know where you’re going to end up, but it’s going to be awesome!

I love how you never give up!

King Solomon talked about you:A man skilled in his work will stand before kings.

You’re one in a million!

You could be President!

Keep practicing like that and you’re going to be the best in the world!

You’re so handsome/beautiful.

Good thinking.

You give the best hugs.

You’re so brave!

You showed a lot of courage when you (   )

It takes a big person to be honest like you just were.

You’ve got what it takes!

You’re a real go-getter!

I know you will achieve your dreams.

This world would be a better place if more people were like you.

You figured this out by yourself? Amazing!

What you did for your (me, friend, brother, sister) was really kind.

Grandpa and/or Grandma think you are spectacular!

You are going places!

You showed a lot of maturity when you responded likes that.

I can see your future . . . it’s so bright, I’m going to need sunglasses!

You are the son/daughter I prayed for.

Every parent wishes they had a son/daughter like you.

I don’t know what I would do without you.

Thank you for loving me.

Awesome – that’s what you are!

I love you!

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